I’m ten months into this motherhood thing and I thought I’d write up a few things that I’ve learned as a parent.
- I had NO idea what tired really was. I think of all the times I’ve said “I’m tired’ in my life. Ha! I laugh at that well-slept girl/woman who said and thought that. I haven’t had an uninterrupted night of sleep in… probably about a year. Seriously, between the end of pregnancy and now a baby I can’t even imagine what it’s like to NOT wake up several times a night.
- I can “function” on a lot less sleep then I thought I could. I put “function” in quotes because there have been times when I’ve done it better than others, but generally speaking I haven’t forgotten my husband, quit my job or burnt my house down. On some days that counts as success 🙂
- I fully, fully understand the depth of the term “gut wrenching.” My stomach literally clenches and wrenches any time I possibly imagine, or even think about imagining, something bad happening to my little girl. Sure I was empathetic and imaginative before I had Clare, but there is NO comparison to the horror that I can conjure up in my head and heart in 0.2 seconds when I think of certain scenarios.
- I have never, never, ever, ever been so afraid every single day in my life. It will never end. The fear is constant and almost, almost debilitating. No one told me that letting my child leave my arms is the bravest thing I will ever do. I do it every day, and always will, but every day it is an act of bravery against my fear that something will happen to her.
- Bodily fluids and functions aren’t gross when they are from the most precious thing on the planet.
- How amazing it is that humans walk and talk. Watching a baby develop is like watching human evolution at warp speed.
- True joy and fulfillment. If I never read another book, travel to another country, wear another cute outfit, or hiked another beautiful trail I know that I have known pure joy.