All of the pieces are seemingly in place. I’m only working three days a week, one of them from home, so I’m just away from him two days a week. Sam is cared for by our wonderful Adam, who loves him very much already. He stays at our house, so his surroundings are familiar. I enjoy what I do and honestly look forward to the adult interaction and different kind of challenges than potty training and nap scheduling. Unfortunately all of these steps in place haven’t made for a smooth transition. Sam doesn’t like the bottle. It’s not unusual for him to only take two ounces during the day. He fusses and cries for Adam quite a bit and often refuses to nap. I know he has some nice, happy moments where they talk and Sam coos. But it all came to me last week when I was working from home. Sam woke up from a nap and Adam got him up. Sam was crying an upset cry and when I got upstairs I commented that he woke up on the wrong side of the crib. When he heard my voice he stopped crying and looked around for me. Adam mentioned that he cries like that a lot while I’m gone. That just broke my heart, that my little baby has been looking for me and I haven’t been there.

I know in the end it will work out OK, and I’m trying to remember the successes of when he drinks a full bottle, naps all afternoon on Adam’s chest, smiles at G and Clare, and other positive moments. I have full faith that I’m leaving Sam in the best hands and that soon he will look forward to his nannyshare days as much as Clare does. Some days of this parenting gig are easy and rewarding and I’m able to make the kids happy. Some days are harder and I can’t fix all of the problems. The best I can do is to take a deep breath, take each day as it comes, and remember that this too shall pass.