When I was pregnant we spent a lot of time reading books about new babies and being a big sister. We talked about “our baby” a lot and about the things to expect with the baby. Clare had a baby doll and we spent lots of time taking care of it. I would love to say that Clare’s enthusiasm over baby Sam had anything to do with us, but I honestly think it’s 100% her. She just loves him, loves being a big sister and is perfectly content with adding him to our family. I told people that we weren’t done having kids after Clare, that I felt like someone was missing, and it seems like Clare did too. Of course we didn’t know it was this cutie-pie who we were missing but now that we’ve met him it’s like “of course! We were waiting for you to join the party!”

That’s not to say that Clare hasn’t needed additional reassurance with this change to the family, or that she doesn’t sometimes get frustrated with being told to wait while we take care of Sam. My biggest pride with her is in how well she tells us what she needs. If she needs extra reassurance she’ll ask us to “shush her” which is to snuggle her close and shush her like we do to Sam when he’s upset. She’ll tell us to go take care of Sam when he cries (though we’re usually on our way to do it) but sometimes she’ll say “No, you stay with Clare.” Even if we can’t stay with her in that minute, we try to listen to what she’s telling us. Not once has she ever taken it out on the baby.

All of the pieces are seemingly in place. I’m only working three days a week, one of them from home, so I’m just away from him two days a week. Sam is cared for by our wonderful Adam, who loves him very much already. He stays at our house, so his surroundings are familiar. I enjoy what I do and honestly look forward to the adult interaction and different kind of challenges than potty training and nap scheduling. Unfortunately all of these steps in place haven’t made for a smooth transition. Sam doesn’t like the bottle. It’s not unusual for him to only take two ounces during the day. He fusses and cries for Adam quite a bit and often refuses to nap. I know he has some nice, happy moments where they talk and Sam coos. But it all came to me last week when I was working from home. Sam woke up from a nap and Adam got him up. Sam was crying an upset cry and when I got upstairs I commented that he woke up on the wrong side of the crib. When he heard my voice he stopped crying and looked around for me. Adam mentioned that he cries like that a lot while I’m gone. That just broke my heart, that my little baby has been looking for me and I haven’t been there.

I know in the end it will work out OK, and I’m trying to remember the successes of when he drinks a full bottle, naps all afternoon on Adam’s chest, smiles at G and Clare, and other positive moments. I have full faith that I’m leaving Sam in the best hands and that soon he will look forward to his nannyshare days as much as Clare does. Some days of this parenting gig are easy and rewarding and I’m able to make the kids happy. Some days are harder and I can’t fix all of the problems. The best I can do is to take a deep breath, take each day as it comes, and remember that this too shall pass.

We’ve been dancing around potty training for a while and then we put it on hold when Sam was born and for a few months after. Finally Clare was ready. I think she’s actually been ready for about a month now but with traveling, illness and other things going on things just haven’t been right. But suddenly something clicked and Clare started saying that she wanted to wear underwear. She takes herself to the bathroom, sets up the potty seat and step stool, flushes and pulls her pants back on all by herself! She’s really into “by myself” self care skills, so it doesn’t surprise me that she enjoys the independence of using the bathroom by herself. We also introduced some m&m bribery to the mix and I think that sped up our success.

One of my New Year’s resolutions is to be more present with my children and family. I can’t put more minutes into the day (though sometimes I try by sleeping less) but I can make the most of each minute I have. With very young children we’re dealing with very short attention spans. An enjoyable day is really just a day where we have more good moments than bad, so being present gives me the opportunity to really savor the good moments. There are plenty (plenty!) of not-so-good moments but I usually find a way to be present for those.

Good moments around here include Sam’s contented sighs after he eats. Watching him kick his feet in the bath (the kid LOVES his baths). Seeing him recognize his favorite toy and smile at it. His quiet way of watching the world. Anytime he and Clare make eye contact and start their relationship. The soft way he snuggles against my shoulder. Rocking him to sleep and feeling him go limp in my arms.

Clare’s pride and excitement when she realized she could reach the light switch to turn it off. Teaching her to use a scissors. Making cupcakes together and introducing her to licking frosting off the beaters. “You take care of Baby Sam now Mama. We can read later.” “I’m your good helper Mama!” after she put Sam’s laundry basket in his room and put his dirty clothes in it.

Singing songs together. Making dinner and eating it as a family. Piggyback rides up and down the hallway. Clare saying “don’t forget to hug Daddy good bye too!” Reading books with a child on each knee.

A thousand precious moments.

Last weekend we went on a family trip that I’ve been wanting to take for a while, going to the coast and the aquarium. It worked out that my cousin and her family are visiting from Montana and wanted to meet up there so it gave us a welcome excuse to plan the trip. Organizing even a weekend trip and getting out of the door isn’t an easy undertaking now that there are four of us (including two in diapers). Even with my parents making some of the arrangements, just packing and traveling with two kids under 2 is a challenge. There is usually a moment in the car where both children are crying/whining, J and I are invariably tense, and I’m wondering why on earth we got off the couch and forced the trip. Then we get to our destination, have a good time, and I’m reminded that we just have to do it. It might be easier to stay home and do our usual activities but, in the end, that doesn’t lead to an interesting life or interesting childhood for our kids.

Mom, Glenn, Chris and Tracy enjoying a beautiful day on the beach.

Besides watching the world with his quiet way, Sam seems to be trying his darnest to set some kind of infant growth record. I’m not exactly sure of his weight and length these days but I know that I’m now putting away his 6 month clothes and dressing him in 9 month size clothing. This means he’s averaging a clothing size per month. At this rate he’ll be wearing a 4T at his first birthday so I assume that pretty soon he’ll slow down. But I’ve been assuming that for a while now and it hasn’t happened so we’ll see.

One of the challenges of having a very, VERY healthy baby is that he’s outgrowing things before I’m prepared. So far he’s in size 3 diapers, but he’s threatening to outgrow them in width. I have half a package each of sizes 0, 1 and 2 diapers that Sam outgrew before we finished them. He’s also within 5 pounds of outgrowing his infant car seat. At the rate he’s growing we’ll need a convertible car seat in the next month and a half. He’s also in the last few weeks of his bouncy seat and swing. I’ve been told that in person he doesn’t look as big as he does in his pictures, and in a way he doesn’t. He is well proportioned, for a six or seven month old. He’s also a solidly thick baby, so his weight sneaks up on you. For my part, I’ve never had so much upper body strength in my life.